From a Woman's Perspective...

No I'm not always right but when you aren't, admit it. I'm not perfect, treat me like I am. Men are visual/physical creatures and they're going to do what they want when they want because they tend to be impulsive. In the event that you decide to do something that you know I won't approve of...think about me first. You wanna cheat? Fine, wrap it up,don't let me find out and don't you EVER put that bitch before me. I'm not condoning cheating or saying it's okay but men are men. (I'm also saying that women act the same way sometimes.) I'm probably the smart one in the relationship....own your ignorance and stop trying to make ME sound stupid. You're failing dismally. I don't need you but I need you. I love you but I refuse to sacrifice for you without a self-beneficial purpose. Sorry dude. I'm an emotional creature. I cry, I get mad, I scream. Just sit down while I let it out and then we can go on about our business. Buy me everything I ask for. Why? Because I deserve it. How do I figure I deserve it? Look at all women do for men. We put the appendage that you urinate out of in our mouths and we like it...we cook...we clean...your clothes are clean...etc. We are martyrs, mothers, contortionists, porn stars, chefs, nannies, seamstresses, accountants, personal shoppers, salesmen, chauffeurs, maids,and home improvement experts.

I've been the sacrificial lamb in my latest relationship America. I don't need a man to do anything for me. I'm fine.

Holler.

Cheating

Why do people do that shit? Okay let me break it down real quick...

My friend, who happens to be male, has admitted to cheating on his longtime girlfriend. I asked him why and he says,"It's new pussy." So he's trying to tell me that he's justified in fuckin other chicks because the ass is different. Variety may be the spice of life but gamblin with ya balls ain't cool. I want to see ONE man that refuses to cheat.

Relationships 101...the MEN

Below I've complied my rules for relationships. Relationships and relations are two different things. Relations are purely physical. Sex, intercourse, fuckin, etc. Relations aren't always emotional but you throw the 'ship' on the end of the word and you've got matters of the heart. I don't think men understand that women are emotional creatures. We can tell them that a million times but it doesn't actually register.

Rule #1: Committed relationships are just that...committed. Your woman comes FIRST. If she does EVERYTHING that no one else does for you then she should be you Number 1 priority all the time. You come third and everyone else comes next. Alot of you men will get upset and start talkin about ya momma and ya Grandmomma. Yes, I understand they're VERY special to you but they can't suck ya dick, bear your children or hold you down when shit gets rough. When you've had a rough day and your back is killin you you're not going to turn and say,"Mom can I have a back massage?" Naw nigga. You're going to look at me and I'm going to KNOW your back is hurtin because you're my King...my other half and I'm gonna rub your back until you fall asleep because that's what real women do.

Rule #2: Sharing is caring and if you can't share your life with your woman then you don't deserve her. If you had a bad day and you can't sit down and tell her about it then you ain't a man. If you have a "secret" that's eating at you and you can't confide in her then you ain't a man. If she needs $100 and you have $101 in your pocket, give it to her. You'll get it back tenfold.

Rule #3: Excuses are for children and fools. If you messed up then you messed up. OWN THAT SHIT nigga! Tell her what REALLY happened,apologize,take whatever consequences come with it and move the fuck on. There's no sense in telling a woman bunch of lies or makin a bunch of excuses up just to stay out of the doghouse. It just creates MORE issues than necessary. Be straight up with her and always tell the truth. She'll appreciate it and you'll reap the benefits.

Holler.

Me,Me,Me!!!

Lately I've ben getting a few requests about who I am and what I like,etc...

So I'll take the time out to actually tell you.

Life:

I've been to hell and back and I'll probably take one or two more trips before I actually figure it all out.Please don't question me about what makes me bitter. It'll make me cry.

Love:

I'm madly in love with a wonderful man.No you're not him and no I won't leave him for you.

Personal:

I love the hell outta anyone that can make me laugh. People that are JUST themselves is the best way to get me to like you.I'm only me. What you see is what you get. I don't budge or fake it for ANYONE. I refuse.

Family:

I've got a Mom, a Dad and a bunch of siblings. I come from a huge family (immediate and extended) so refrain from fuckin with me.

Interests:

Reading is my most favoritest thing EVER...being a writer is my first passion....will it happen? I dunno. I'll read anything you put in front of me but I absolutely ADORE Sidney Sheldon,Terry McMillan and E.Lynn Harris. I love politics but I'd never be a politician. I'm a Republican, don't question it. Hoever right now I can't really support the Republicans...they just ain't got their shit together right now. I love music but I'd never be a musician. Give me ALL of it from Mos Def to Beethoven and everything in between. Music is like food for me...Jamiroquai,John Coltrane, Nina Simone,the old Whitney, the old Michael, Beyonce, Corrine Bailey Rae, Musiq, Rich Boy, Nas, Eric Roberson,Raheem DeVaughn,etc etc.....I love taking and being in pictures. But I'd never be a model. I adore clothes and shoes but I'd never design them.


Happy now?

Waiting On The World To Change...

When is enough enough?At what point do I decide that selfish and self-preservation are two very different things? When do I stop pointing fingers at myself and decide that maybe this ISN'T my fault? And what do I do to change that? How do I get from point A to point B in life doing only for myself and not for others? Is it the destiny laid out for me by the Most High to be everyone's doormat? And that when I get to the point when it's no longer tolerable I snap and have everyone lookin at me sideways with the screwface and wondering "what the fuck happened to her?" do I stand up and tell them? Or....do I cower in fear of rejection and disappointment and continue my lifeless,docile,insignificant existence? Really America...is waiting a futile endeavor?Maybe it's time for me to just do me.

Honestly, every single decision I make in life is made with consideration for SOMEONE else. It may only be one person...but I always wonder what so and so will think if I make X decision. Would it affect so and so negatively if I do X? Would it fuck up a plan already set by so and so if I decide to do X? Well America...maybe it's time to make so and so become no and no. If I don't take care of me physically,emotionally,spiritually,financially and otherwise...then who will? No one that's who. They aren't concerned with MY best interests when they make a decision, so why shouldn't I start makin decisions without consulting them?

I think I've made some muthafuckin progress.

G'Yeah!

On another note....
work is hilarious.
Tsk tsk America. Some folks need the alarm clock of life for a little wake up call. I mean don't get me wrong...I like her alot.She's got a lot of positive qualities professionally speaking but some things are just better off left at home.

On yet ANOTHER note....
Judgement is to be placed on the guilty by the Most High when their time comes. It is not to be placed on innocent bystanders and slow-progressing peers by their "friends" just because they were more fortunate. If there's one thing that I know I've done right....it's fairness. I can honestly say I don't judge people based on decisions that they've made in their personal life. I don't know them like I think I do,of this I'm convinced, and I don't know what they've been through. It's not my place/job/position to tell ANYONE what's right or wrong about their life.My job is to support them,pray for them and love them the best way I can. But for some reason I get the feeling I'm writing this for my own self-assurance then for any other reason.

Holler.

Progression With Struggle Brings Bitterness...

I'm not a child anymore. I'm growing into an adult. Everyday is another headache, another tear, another struggle, another reason not to wake up the next day. I never know what to expect from day to day and I'm not really sure where I'm headed right now. I'm jaded, scorned, fed the fuck up and ready to just throw my hands up and run away. But that's what children do isn't it? And I'm supposed to be an adult. I'm supposed to grab every problem and attack it with so much vigor that I overpower it. Right?

That's Ignorant!

Below is a list I've compiled of shit that I think is just downright ignorant.

• People that ask stupid ass questions constantly due to their insatiable nosiness.

• Men that get all sensitive for no reason.Man up bitch!

• Movies that leave you hangin like a Mandingo's pelvis.

• My boss.This little bastard is so spacey it makes me want to vomit.PAY ATTENTION GOD DAMMIT!

• Hos.Close your legs bitch.

• Loose women. Let's not get it mixed up with a ho.Hos fuck for money and status, loose women fuck for no reason.That shit is just not attractive. And then they tell everybody about it like it's cute.Uhm. No.
• Friends that take you for granted and try to take advantage of you. Ho don't take my kindness for a weakness and think I ain't payin attention.Bitch I'll kill you.
• Significant others that think you're not watching.
• Button pushers.Let me explain this one. A button pusher is someone who PURPOSELY talks shit to Dolce and thinks that they'll get away with it. They are under the impression that because she's at work or in a setting that requires her to behave professionally that she won't snap necks.Muthafuckas betta WRECK-A-NIZE.

to be continued....

RANDOMOCITY: SHIT I NEED TO KNOW

Okay..lately I've been pretty damn idle and when that happens...my mind wanders.So I pose these questions/opinions/concerns to the Masses.

~Why do white people pick their noses? (and in public no less?)
-That's fuckin gross.So youre tellin me that you teach your little grubby brats that that shit is okay?Yuck yuck yuck!!!
~Why do niggas think it's okay to drop by your house unannounced?
-Whoa nigga. Slow yo muthafuckin roll. I would never just pop up at your shit without calling or warning you first so just because you tryna fuck me you think it's alright for you to park in front of my crib and then text me that your'e outside? GET THE FUCK ON WIT THAT BULLSHIT!! That shit is NEVER okay.Never. Do you read me? That's NOT okay Goddammit!! Don't do it.It's only okay to do that to your parents or grandparents. And even then I'd be careful....old folks are fuckin more often these days.
~Why don't people understand that it's text MESSAGE not text CONVERSATION?
-Don't send me 8 text messages that add up to a full sentence!!That shit could have been one long ass text.And then you text me shit that I don't understand. If you aren't a master spelling bee winner than don't even bother text messaging me.
~Fat broads.Please please please tell me who's gassin your heads up to make you think it's okay to wear all the shit that the little girls wear?
-No, you should not put on those jeans with the deliberate rips in them. You'll look like a broken sausage.Uh uh, refrain from putting on 80's Retro.The tights are too tight...ballet flats turn into shredded paper when your feet are in them, and the skirt looks like a belt around your waist.Which brings me to the BIG ass belts....stop wearing them.You look like fuckin Kris Kringle.And skinny belts....stay away from those too.
~"Urban white boys" are trying too hard aren't they?
-I need them to stop pretending that hip-hop is important to them, underground WILL survive without your pasty ass.

I WORK HARD FOR MY SHIT!!!

Ok maybe I'm being harsh but I work really hard for everything I have. Why the fuck do I always see these old ass niggas beggin for ignorant shit. Last week Monday I went to the gas station and this old ass nigga asks me for a cigarette AND a dollar. No, not spare change, not "whatever I can spare", but a fucking DOLLAR. This nigga was extra specific n shit. That pissed me the fuck off. You're twice my fucking age and I am not about to support your habits. I never ask people for cigarettes so when people do it to me it throws me off. Ugh! I just wanna get a bullhorn and say,"GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE!!!!" And the killing part is.....this old crusty bastard asked me 4 more times this week. I mean really.....WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Yesterday when I saw him we had an "experience":

"Ay sista you got another cigarette?"
"Yup."
-awkward silence-
"Can I have one?"
"No."
"Oh okay, you got a dollar I could use?"
"Uhm. No."
"Damn you ain't gotta be so cold."
"Yes I do. I'm not in the business of supporting other grown folks. Please get away from me.Thanks."

Wtf!? People got alot of nerve.

Holler.

Revelations

I discovered that everything really does happen for a reason. Whether it's due to God or some other Higher Power is not the argument....I don't care WHO does it. It just amazes me at the fact that it happens. It took me quite awhile to figure out that everything bad that happens is a warning the first time. The second,third,etc. time is not a warning but an urgent silent cry that something needs to change.

Long Time No See

It's been awhile...I've been busy as hell.

So I had this "encounter" at my job recently.
This little negroid comes in and says that I should dump my boyfriend to be with him.
-insert the 'what the hot fuck?!?!' face here-

So....i asked him coyly,"What you got that he doesn't?"
He stated the following:
a 2000 Accord
his own business (carpet cleaning)
his own house in the ghetto

PASS!

Ya'll already know ain't shit changed...

Rosewood, Florida

My parents never let me watch the movie Rosewood when it came out. I suppose the sensitive subject matter was thought to be too much for me. They were right. 10 years later I've finally viewed it. I am appalled. I can believe that back in 1923 something so heinous is possible. It still hurts. And I am now thoroughly pissed off.

Thank You and Goodnight.

Ah! Homewreckers!!!

So I got a phone call today from an old friend. We were thick as thieves back in the day. I loved the hell outta this chick, we were MAD cool. But now that I've spoken to her.....uh.....yea. I do not condone messin with married (or involved) men. I don't mean to seem harsh but really....I can't see it. I would never wanna get in between something that's already there. ANYWAY.....So she calls me and starts to basically brag about messin with some man 15 years older than her who's married with children. And she finds it funny that his kids are damn near her age. She says it's okay because he "takes care of her". Uhm....that's not sexy. The first thing I thought of was,"How would I feel if my Daddy (whom I love SO MUCH) was messin wit some broad that was my age?" VOMIT! That's gross!

So I pose a question to my readers.

You meet someone that you have an AMAZING connection with. The sex is great, their likable, the company is good. They are married. What do you do?

FRIENDS...How Many Of Us Have Them?

So I found out some things this morning.
I went to Chicago this weekend for Tasha's birthday.
The night started out fine. Food, friends, liquor. Like, how could that NOT be the greatest night ever?

We didn't realize when Leah parked the car that it was a tow-away zone...that's how the Chi makes their revenue. So we get to the car around 4:15- 4:20 ish. The car is gone and Leah throws a total tantrum. Crying and falling out on the ground about her car being towed. So I assured her we'd get it back, Tasha's trying to figure out wtf is goin on and Myisha walks away to keep from laughing at Leah's bitch fit. We flag down a cop and find out what we have to do to get the car back. I hail a cab but Tasha calls her co-workers that we were previously in the company of so they could give us a ride to the tow lot. They drive us there and Leah decides that because this man bought her drinks at the bar that he was going to be the one to pay for her car to be released from the tow lot. Uhm...HELLO! Reality check please!? So we find out later that if you're going to pay with a credit card that the credit card has to match the name that's on the cars registration. So the guy paying for it is out of the question. So Leah decides that she should be pathetic enough to be allowed to have her Dad pay with HIS credit card over the phone JUST because he's disabled and JUST because she's Leah. Bitch please.

So she's already PAST getting on my nerves. It's cold out. I've been up almost 24 hours. My buzz is blown. My feet...oh my God I won't even talk about how badly my feet were hurting. And Leah felt like she was a victim and that some random guy should save her because she's pretty. So, right now I'm the ONLY hope she has because everyone else only had credit cards...I had cash.

I walk over to her and calmly explain her options to her. She declines. She says, "No. I want HIM to pay with his credit card." So as you all may have guessed I lost my temper and told her ass off. I was already mad as hell and you're turning down my help because you don't want to have to pay for this. I should have punched that bitch in her throat for being so selfish and bratty. So she finally decides that she's gonna take the money but she wants everyone to have to pay a fourth of the cost. Uhm....nobody told you to park there. Had it been someone else driving you would want them to have to pay for it all. So....no way. She took the money, we got in the car and we all went home. And do ya'll know this broad had the AUDACITY to not even fuckin say thank you?! Omg I am so pissed off, I was even MORE pissed off when I got home at 11:30am. So I wrote her a note on Myspace. Perhaps I was harsh, but I wanted to do it while it was fresh in my mind and I meant every word of it and I still mean it.

The note:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ARROGANT
Date: Feb 11, 2007 11:54 AM


Okay, some things need to be said. Myisha asked me to behave myself and not say anything, I tried and I'm not doing it anymore. First of all, my intention is not to hurt your feelings or demean you. Being condescending towards people is not something that I do for fun. Leah you need to realize that the sun does not rise and set on your ass. That's just not how life goes. When I criticize your driving it's because I'm concerned about my well-being but you'll understand when you actually hit someone. When I call you "names" I'm joking. If I didn't like you PLEASE BELIEVE you'd know it for sure because I'd come right out and tell you. And I would NEVER sit in your face like we were cool if I didn't like you.

However...

after that fiasco this morning, no I don't like you anymore. I'm going to tell you exactly why. You're so selfish, spoiled and inconsiderate. I didn't know it was humanly possible for someone to be such a spoiled, self-serving brat. You're WAY too old for that. I can see that you obviously don't handle stress well and that's fine. Some people just don't do well under pressure. You ARE indeed a gold digger. [I doubt you've admitted it to yourself yet.] I thought it was just an act until you turned down my cash for the Indian guy's credit card. Either way you would have had to pay one of us back. I hope you don't think he was gonna do that shit for free. And as for us splitting that cost.....uhm no. You drove;not us. If Myisha had driven you would have expected her to pick up the whole tab for it. I'm not the type to bite my tongue and Myisha knows it. I tried for her, but I can't. It's out of my character and it's fake and I'm not a fake person. If I feel a certain way I'm gonna let everybody know. You can't always have your way. No offense Leah, but what the fuck do you plan on doing when your parents are no longer here? Who are you going to run to then when shit gets tough? You can't justify ANY of your actions this morning. You treated us like we were the cause of the problem. You obviously don't want to take responsibility for shit when you fuck up. That needs to change. When you get men to do things for you...they're going to want things in return. Sugar daddy or not....the silver lining in the cloud is usually just an illusion. Sure when I go out my cleavage is hanging all out but I also don't go around scoping to find the man in the club with the most money to get me drunk. You obviously have some personal issues that you need to deal with. Looks like Emily isn't the only one who needs some therapy. You walk around all high and mighty with champagne taste like ya shit don't stink but you got beer money. Until you stop acting so petty and childish, you're not going to have many lasting friendships. You claim you like having ride or die friends....that's not true Leah. You want friends that will do ANYTHING for you with no consequence. Not a good look.

You have until Friday to give me my money back.
After that, I don't give a damn if you don't say another word to me. I'm so disappointed in you. I thought we were better than that but you couldn't even be woman enough to come to me and say "Niki, we need to talk." It's all good though.

Peace.



Holler.

Sha Boing Boing

So I was thinking...
Why is sex such an important issue?
I mean when did it happen and what's going on with the human brain that it becomes so corrupted that all we do is think about sex? Way back in the day sex was used SOLELY for procreation. And if you WERE having sex for pleasure then you were some kind of hobagslutface. Now there's very few people who only use sex for procreation purposes and most of the people who say they do are lying. I am almost positive. I'm fine with that. I'm even more fine with the thought of having wild hot sweaty monkey sex with the one I love for the sole purpose of uninhibited pleasure.

My question for the masses is....
when the fuck did this shit happen?
I've been scouring for days in search of the precise moment when America (and the rest of the World) became so oversexed.

Talk to me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So it's a new year. I'm late posting (as usual) and you folks didn't even miss me (as usual). Resolutions? None. I never stick to them past February. It's always the same old stupid shit that will honestly take longer than a year to fix. I'm not interested in making anymore empty promises to myself in an attempt to please the masses or my meddling ass parental units.

Hangover? None. Shockingly, I didn't have one. Good food, good people, good liqour and dancing until I sweat my from into a reddish marshmallow caused me to have one of the best nights ever. It was only missing one person. :( -sigh- I'll get there soon. Hangovers suck ass but at least I didn't get one.

Memories? FUCK YES! Some of the best ever. I got to hang out with my best friend in the whole wide world and catch up on old times with some old chums from my schoolgirl days. GOOD FUCKING TIMES AMERICA!

Well...

I had every intention on discussing Oprah and how her recent love for Africa compares with those of Angelina and Brad, Madonna and Guy,etc. But instead....all I can think of right now is the following:

I REALLY REALLY love my boyfriend. He's the most amazing human being I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know (and I'm not finished yet). He's like water to a drought, the sun to a starving crop, the yin to my yang, the.....well you all get the picture. I won't get SUPER corny on you. I need him. I'm not afraid to admit that. I'd never tell him that though, that just gives him an open portal to think he can do whatever the hell he wants. Men are funny creatures. No matter how comfortable you get...you must always proceed with caution. Give and inch, they'll take a mile. It's human nature and you can't fault them for it so you have to make it your job to regulate where necessary.The last "union" didn't work because I let him know EXACTLY how I was feeling ALL the time. He knew that I loved him to no end with every fiber of my being...I believe that may have been a mistake. Oops. So this time around I'm trying to do everything the RIGHT way....instead of throwing my heart on the table to be played with. That shit's just not cool.

Holler.

Token Blacks

I swear I'm the Token Negro at work. Should I be ashamed of that? I mean that kind of makes me an Uncle Tom doesn't it? I don't want to be "liked", "accepted", or promoted due to the color of my skin. There's only 3 (maybe 4) people at my job that are Black and then there's about the same number of Latinos and like 2 Asians.....and 2 Indians. So...I'm kinda on my own over here. Everybody there is pretty complacent with being one of the very few of color. But it sits funny with me. It's uncomfortable. I feel like everyone is looking at me and WAITING for me to do something stupid so they can mark me as "another stupid nigga" or tiptoeing around me trying not to piss me off because they think I might be one of those "ghetto Black girls" that fights all the time and acts a fool.
I'm not racist, I'm not prejudice and I'm not the type to discriminate. But when I started to develop this...this...weariness around White people...I began to dislike them. I don't know whether to joke about my color or flip the Jenny-Ann switch. IT shouldn't be this hard...EVER. I should be able to punch the clock...do my work...collect my paycheck...and take my ass home.

Lesbians: A Fad?

Recently I just found out that like 5 or 6 of my female friends are either lesbians or bisexual. When the hell did this happen? I dont knock the lifestyle, that's not my position. I'm just curious as to how this all comes about. Are they watching too much lesbian porn? Are men REALLY scorning them into the arms of women?Were they born this way? I just don't get it. And majority of my friends have children, so they were straight at one point right? Or were they just putting up a front so they wouldn't have to explain to anyone? I have friends and family members male and female that are gay/lesbian. I love them all regardless of their sexual preference. But lately there's just a serious overflow of gay/lesbian activity.

Awhile back there was all this hoopla about gay/lesbian marriage and whether or not it should be allowed. I personally don't give a shit. They don't bother the hetero so why should we bother them? Leave them folks alone and let them live, they put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. Anyway, not long after there was TONS of gays just poppin up out of nowhere. I mean is the closet really big enough to house them all? Or did the closet get too full so they all had to burst out of that mofo at the same time. My best friend just told me she was gay the other day. Sure I still love her silly ass and she'll always be my friend but what made her do it. She claims she's always been gay. WTF! Then why did you get married (to a man) and have a baby (gorgeous little girl!)? I mean you were grown when you had her....so if you were gay why didn't you just leave men alone. And that's another thing....WHY DO LESBIANS USE STRAP-ONS AND DILDOS? You only like women right? So why do you want them to fuck you like they're men? Oh hell......this shit is too confusing and headache-inducing.
I'm goin to Starbucks for a White Mocha....then I'm going to call my boyfriend so we can have hot,sweaty, heterosexual sex.

POorLITICS

:pissedthefuckoff:

So I just got back from the polls...

first of all my State is irritating the fuck out of me. For Referendum we got Article 13 [making it possible for unmarried couples {INCLUDING GAYS} to receive the same benefits as married couples] and the Death Penalty Ref. to reinstate the death penalty in my state.
Can we get some muthafuckin educational help here? We have like REALLY low scores for grade school students. All the kids are dumb, classes are over crowded, schools are over crowded, there aren't enough books/supplies, the schools have no money, the city and the schools are partially segregated and so on and so forth....

Okay here's my stance on the first part. The entire state and its media has made this entire referendum about gay rights when in reality it's about UNMARRIED COUPLES. Whether they are gay or straight is irrelevant. Unmarried couples usually stay together MUCH longer on average than married couples. They live,work and play together and they bear and raise children together. So what if they aren't LEGALLY married....they behave like it so they should be granted the same rights as married couples in my opinion. If the referendum goes through then unmarried couples will not be granted the right to give their loved ones proper burial, file joint taxes, make life changing medical decisions or obtain life insurance policies. The divorce rate is so ridiculously high these days that a lot of people feel like if it's not broken they shouldn't bother fixing it. I totally agree.

As for the death penalty......
we are but mere humans and God never gave us the OK to take someone else's life just because they did something wrong. Let their asses ROT in prison for life without parole.