Well...

I had every intention on discussing Oprah and how her recent love for Africa compares with those of Angelina and Brad, Madonna and Guy,etc. But instead....all I can think of right now is the following:

I REALLY REALLY love my boyfriend. He's the most amazing human being I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know (and I'm not finished yet). He's like water to a drought, the sun to a starving crop, the yin to my yang, the.....well you all get the picture. I won't get SUPER corny on you. I need him. I'm not afraid to admit that. I'd never tell him that though, that just gives him an open portal to think he can do whatever the hell he wants. Men are funny creatures. No matter how comfortable you get...you must always proceed with caution. Give and inch, they'll take a mile. It's human nature and you can't fault them for it so you have to make it your job to regulate where necessary.The last "union" didn't work because I let him know EXACTLY how I was feeling ALL the time. He knew that I loved him to no end with every fiber of my being...I believe that may have been a mistake. Oops. So this time around I'm trying to do everything the RIGHT way....instead of throwing my heart on the table to be played with. That shit's just not cool.

Holler.

Token Blacks

I swear I'm the Token Negro at work. Should I be ashamed of that? I mean that kind of makes me an Uncle Tom doesn't it? I don't want to be "liked", "accepted", or promoted due to the color of my skin. There's only 3 (maybe 4) people at my job that are Black and then there's about the same number of Latinos and like 2 Asians.....and 2 Indians. So...I'm kinda on my own over here. Everybody there is pretty complacent with being one of the very few of color. But it sits funny with me. It's uncomfortable. I feel like everyone is looking at me and WAITING for me to do something stupid so they can mark me as "another stupid nigga" or tiptoeing around me trying not to piss me off because they think I might be one of those "ghetto Black girls" that fights all the time and acts a fool.
I'm not racist, I'm not prejudice and I'm not the type to discriminate. But when I started to develop this...this...weariness around White people...I began to dislike them. I don't know whether to joke about my color or flip the Jenny-Ann switch. IT shouldn't be this hard...EVER. I should be able to punch the clock...do my work...collect my paycheck...and take my ass home.

Lesbians: A Fad?

Recently I just found out that like 5 or 6 of my female friends are either lesbians or bisexual. When the hell did this happen? I dont knock the lifestyle, that's not my position. I'm just curious as to how this all comes about. Are they watching too much lesbian porn? Are men REALLY scorning them into the arms of women?Were they born this way? I just don't get it. And majority of my friends have children, so they were straight at one point right? Or were they just putting up a front so they wouldn't have to explain to anyone? I have friends and family members male and female that are gay/lesbian. I love them all regardless of their sexual preference. But lately there's just a serious overflow of gay/lesbian activity.

Awhile back there was all this hoopla about gay/lesbian marriage and whether or not it should be allowed. I personally don't give a shit. They don't bother the hetero so why should we bother them? Leave them folks alone and let them live, they put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. Anyway, not long after there was TONS of gays just poppin up out of nowhere. I mean is the closet really big enough to house them all? Or did the closet get too full so they all had to burst out of that mofo at the same time. My best friend just told me she was gay the other day. Sure I still love her silly ass and she'll always be my friend but what made her do it. She claims she's always been gay. WTF! Then why did you get married (to a man) and have a baby (gorgeous little girl!)? I mean you were grown when you had her....so if you were gay why didn't you just leave men alone. And that's another thing....WHY DO LESBIANS USE STRAP-ONS AND DILDOS? You only like women right? So why do you want them to fuck you like they're men? Oh hell......this shit is too confusing and headache-inducing.
I'm goin to Starbucks for a White Mocha....then I'm going to call my boyfriend so we can have hot,sweaty, heterosexual sex.

POorLITICS

:pissedthefuckoff:

So I just got back from the polls...

first of all my State is irritating the fuck out of me. For Referendum we got Article 13 [making it possible for unmarried couples {INCLUDING GAYS} to receive the same benefits as married couples] and the Death Penalty Ref. to reinstate the death penalty in my state.
Can we get some muthafuckin educational help here? We have like REALLY low scores for grade school students. All the kids are dumb, classes are over crowded, schools are over crowded, there aren't enough books/supplies, the schools have no money, the city and the schools are partially segregated and so on and so forth....

Okay here's my stance on the first part. The entire state and its media has made this entire referendum about gay rights when in reality it's about UNMARRIED COUPLES. Whether they are gay or straight is irrelevant. Unmarried couples usually stay together MUCH longer on average than married couples. They live,work and play together and they bear and raise children together. So what if they aren't LEGALLY married....they behave like it so they should be granted the same rights as married couples in my opinion. If the referendum goes through then unmarried couples will not be granted the right to give their loved ones proper burial, file joint taxes, make life changing medical decisions or obtain life insurance policies. The divorce rate is so ridiculously high these days that a lot of people feel like if it's not broken they shouldn't bother fixing it. I totally agree.

As for the death penalty......
we are but mere humans and God never gave us the OK to take someone else's life just because they did something wrong. Let their asses ROT in prison for life without parole.

Bitches & Sistas

Of course there's a difference between the two. But I don't really wanna discuss sistas. I wanna talk about bitches and why there's so many of them gettin away with silly shit these days. I'm a strong advocate of Pocket Pimpin. If a bitch is "gettin outta pocket", put her ass back in that muhfucka and keep it the fuck movin. Why is Dolce so upset? I'll tell ya'll why. [All names have been changed to protect the innocent.] Jimmy is (technically) married to Rita. Rita and Jimmy have a young son and they've been together for like 12 years. Jimmy has several children from previous relationships as does Rita. Recently Jimmy received a notice in the mail that he'd have to go to the courthouse to take a DNA test for a child that may (or may not) be his. So he complies, takes the test and it comes back positive. So now he has a 13 year old daughter whom he's never met and doesn't know. This little girl is probably pissed the hell off that this man has never been in her life but little does she know....it was all at the hands of her triflin ass mammy. Trina had a one night stand with Jimmy 14 years ago, got pregnant and didn't say anything. She goes ahead and hops right on the welfare line; draining the HELL out of taxpayers (like myself) has been fun for her. But all things must come to an end eventually. Her gravy train has run out and now that she's working the State wants her to pay back ALL the money they've given her. So what does she do to avoid the big payback? Well, she does what any raggedy ass bitch would do! BAM! All of a sudden she KNOWS who her baby's daddy is. The only name she gave the State was Jimmy's, no one elses like other women do. I understand things happen and sometimes people have moments of passionate indiscretion but this bitch did this shit on purpose. She is well aware of the law in the state I live in. In the event that you obtain permanent, full-time employment you are held responsible for repaying all monetary public assistance that was granted to you in your "time of need". This bitch was "in need" for 13 muthafuckin years. That shit just don't sit right with me. Now Jimmy NEVER once had a problem giving his other children what they wanted/needed so he would have never denied this new child. All while he was coming out of pocket for what they needed he was also spending PLENTY of quality time with them AND paying child support to THEIR mothers. He never once complained about it. So the "justice" system is just going to let this bitch get away with this shit with no fuckin questions asked. Jimmy will have to pay her child support arrears, remaining child suport from age 13-18 AND all the benfits she received from welfare.
Ain't this some shit? When the fuck do fathers/men start gettin some got damn R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

Am I a Self-Hater?

I don't think I am but oh well. I use derogatory words very loosely out of pure humor. That bothers alot of people. Should I care? I don't but SHOULD I? I call people coons and jigs all the time because it's funny to me. I don't understand for the life of me why folks are so uptight about words. I used to think ni**er was the ugliest word in the English language. Sure it holds a little sting to it because it IS known as being the worst racial slur ever created. Years ago Blacks began using it as a term of endearment, I suppose it was thier way of taking it back from White folks. They would use it descriptively, laughingly, seriously, etc. Maybe they were screaming out to racists that this word could no longer hurt them, it was now THEIR word to use as they pleased and Whites were no longer allowed to use it.

But today as the word is used more often than ever, it's getting some folks uptight. I recently made a few comments on a messageboard about ni**ers shuckin n jivin in reference to the "coonish" dances that they do (ie Harlem Shake, Chickenhead,Chicken Noodle Soup with Soda on the side,footowork etc...). I understand that some of these dance originated inteh Motherland and some of them are apart of my history and culture....but they STILL look ridiculous. It reminds me of minstrel shows and shit when the Negro was used to entertain the White folk. If they get to make fun of us then why can't we make fun of us. I'm not doing anything wrong in my opinion. I love Black people, I love MY people. They are who I am. I'm not a self-hater...I'm just me.

Well Damn I Say....Just Damn.

It's been awhile. I apologize.
So...I'm having a little problem.
A friend of mine has asked the CRAZIEST shit. "Would you have a threesome with my husband and I?" I don't know what to say.

I mean sure threesomes are nice to fantasize about....BUT... I don't think she's understanding what this entails. She's asking me to fuck her husband. Her marriage is already rocky, why make it worse. She accuses him of cheating n shit but then asks her best friend to have sex with her husband. So if I were to say yes then she'll forever be wondering if I'm fucking her husband on a regular basis. Then that'll give her a new reason to accuse him of fuckin someone else.


Apparently he suggested it first. Okay fine. What man doesn't want two women at the same time. But it's never supposed to be your wife/main woman and someone else.Never,never,never. It's a fantasy...that's it that's all. According to her, I was the first person he suggested as a third partner. Big no no on his part. That's just suggesting
that he's wanted to fuck me since high school. Right? Or am I trippin? Threesomes can either strengthen a relationship or tear it down.In their case I think it's going to be the latter. She wants to do it and that's cool. She feels most comfortable with me because we've been friends for so long...but I don't want to ruin her relationship. Dammit.

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!!

An adult is an adult no matter what. I beat other peoples children with no hesitation. And I will continue to do so until they stop tellin their little snot nosed ankle bitin crumbsnatchers to tell other grown ups that they're "not the boss".

My Affair With The Pepsi Man

God this man is fine. He's 6'4'', chocolate, and slightly bow-legged. His ass looks tight in those blue slacks too. I just wanna lick him from head to toe. I really should just pay for my gas and get my ass back home but instead I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and stepped out of the car. My boyfriend is going to KILL me! I walked up to him and asked him if he drinks Coke. He turned around flashed a bitch a Colgate smile. Straight and white and his lips look like they were made for my -ahem- yeah. He laughed and shook his head no. I smiled, pushed my number in his empty hand and struted away. An hour later my phone was ringing. He asks if it's okay if he doesn't tell me his name. I allow it, only because I wanted to work him over with no strings,staples,or nails attached. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking but I gave him my address, told him to meet me in 15 minutes and hung up on him. I halfway thought he'd be on some bullshit. HA! Yeah right. 14 minutes later he was at my door. I answered it naked. It was ON! That nigga fucked me six ways from Sunday and licked,sucked and kissed every single crevice of my body. "Ma'am if you're finished pumping your gas I'm going to have to ask you to move your car."

All the good shit is always a fucking dream!

Family Matters

So...I went to my Aunt Sara's funeral today (RIP). I have the most bamma family on the face of this Planet. These people are ghetto, kuntry, bourgie, stuck-up and a myriad of other things. I gotta be halfway nice since some of them DO read this. I SWEAR my cousin Shaneida (insert eye roll here) is THE definition of ghetto. This broad let her children come to the funeral with bags of chips and soda so they'd sit still. If that was the case she could have took them over to her Dad's house. (He's disabled and couldn't make the "homegoing celebration".) So KiKi and Janiah are sitting in the second pew right in front of me just munchin n shit like their at the damn movies. WHAT THE FUCK!? Then they pick the most bamma of all churches. Jesus is the Way Missionary Baptist Church (insert another eye roll) only seats 150 people comfortably and there was about 20-25 people standing up and 15 people scattered about in fold up chairs. SMDH! So we go through the motions and the pastor gets up to do his thing and starts talkin about how he went from a drug addicted gang banger to a preacha mayne. (insert SUPER eye roll) What in the blue fuck does that have to do with my deceased aunt? Nigga it's hot like two fat women in wool sweaters fightin over KFC and you're over capacity but you wanna sit here and tell us your life story. FUCK OUTTA HERE! So we get to the cemetary and it starts to rain....but yet again they wanna give long ass speeches! Let's GO already damn! So we get back to my Aunt Sara and Uncle LeRoy's house for foodage. Niggas, heat, food, liqour and small spaces
DO NOT mix! I've had a migraine since about 11am. I'm tired but can't sleep.

Preach It!.....or not.

What the hell is up with Mase and DMX. They both say their calling is to be pastors. Okay fine...you got the Holy Ghost yay for you nigga. But you continue to rap (and cuss alot) because God gave you a "gift"? That's lame as hell. I think that they're merely using religion for capital gain. Well, that and to excuse their bizarre behavior. I understand that some people have epiphanies n shit in their sleep and when they wake up they think they're prophets n shit. Okay cool I can accept that.But you're asying that God wants you to talk to the public about drugs,alcohol,hos,cars,clothes,and the ghetto....


Get real.

OMG!

I need this. Nissan needs to not bullshit on making this car a reality.

http://www.automobilemag.com/auto_shows/tokyo/

R.Kelly Magnets

-inhale- I see several little girls daily. Yanno just when I'm out and about and I want to know what's wrong with their parents. I see little girls around 11 and 12 years old dressing like they're on their way to the club. High heels, midriff tops, short ass skirts, etc. Where da fuck you think you goin? Full faces of make up. What in the red hell?

Now I understand that that's a rough time for a girl. She's starting puberty and she doesn't want to look like a little kid but she's not yet ready to dress for the Blue Flame. Some of these girls are fast as hell (fast=hot in the ass) and some aren't. They might have self-esteem issues. They might watch too many episodes of Top Model. They might be peepin in one too many Cosmo issues. They could have aspirations to be a model or a fashion designer. They might think that just because they have a models shape (skinny as hell) that they're entitled to dress like one. I'm not saying she should still be wearing velcro Barbie shoes, barrettes, Dora the Explorer shirts and shit but damn dress your age. Those short little skirts that everyone is wearing nowadays have no business being on a 11 years old ass. They're asking for trouble in several different forms. Padded bras because they're self-conscious about their little mini-boobs...oh HELL no. Mothers whose bodies have long gone into mommy hell live vicariously through their daughters bodies need their ass beat with 2x4's with nails in them. Okay that's harsh but I'm sayin though...

I don't have any kids so I'm sure you're all like "What the fuck do YOU know?". It's common sense. Everyone was in an uproar when R. Kelly had his little scandal with the 14 year old girl. Now these lil snots are walkin around lookin even worse. At least SHE had on some Teletubbie sandals. If I had a daughter that age I wouldn't have a problem with her dressing like a young girl but these chicks are taking it too far. 11 and 12 with eyeliner on? Uh Uh son. No tight ass jeans. No tight ass shirts. When you get dressed in the morning I'm gonna make you lift your arms up and if I see your stomach then you gotta go change. If I can see that quarter I gave you for milk in your back pocket...then you gotta go change. If I look at your face and you resemble a geisha girl you're gonna have to go wash your face. If I see you in some stilettos that are as high or higher than mine I'm going to break your nose. Which brings me to this...

Why the fuck are these mothers buying this kind of shit for their kids? Little boys walkin around with fake bling bling and shit. Baggy ass jeans that look like MC Hammer pants. Long ass shirts and shit. Nigga you gay? You got a DRESS on. He's ASKING for a fuckin wrap sheet. When you take your daughter shopping and she picks out clothes consider this...if you'd wear it then she has no business wearing it (within reason). Think of it like this: If what she picks out has potential in your closet to snatch up a fine ass man then she should put it back. This is the 21st century in America and sex sells better than EVERYTHING else. Naturally, the media and clothing designers would even make it appeal to little kids. That's just more dough in their pockets. They don't give a damn about what happens to your kid in the process. Have some sense for cryin out loud. -exhale-

When Enough Is Enough

Yea. I'm so ready to get the hell outta here. One negative occurance after another. This morning my aunt died. She was a severe diabetic and didn't take very good care of herself. But still. It's so sad. Ever since my NaNa passed in 1999 my whole family is just droppin like flies. It hurts. I know change is inevitable but it scares me sometimes. Some days I just REALLY wish I was little again and I could go back to not having a care in the world but eh I guess that's adulthood for ya.

This moving thing is messin with me too. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place and not knowing whether I'm coming or going. Constant migraines I tell ya. I'm looking for a school to go to. Looking for a new job. Looking for serenity in America (but I've pretty much accepted that it's not gonna happen).

Friends. I have tons of them that do NOTHING for me except help me get drunk and shake my ass on random guys that I'll never see again. So....what do I need them for? I mean they're not benefitting me in any way. Is that selfish?

My week sucked ass. Sunday I had a SUBSTANTIAL amount of money stolen from me. Monday I broke my finger. Tuesday on the way to the movies me and my friend got pulled over for DWB. Handcuffs ain't cool. Wednesday I got in a car accident. Thursday sucked because Sunday - Wednesday sucked. This morning my aunt passed away. I'm getting so drunk this whole weekend.